13 Ways to "Celebrate" If Mother's Day Is Hard for You
Article Written by Annie Wright, LMFT
For some, Mother’s Day will feel like a wonderful day, perhaps filled with brunch, flowers and time and energy spent with the woman you love—your Mom. Or maybe you’ll revel in having your own little ones bring you their homemade crayon cards and attempts at pancakes and breakfast in bed.
If this day brings you joy and gratitude, that’s lovely and I’m so glad that’s the experience for you! But for many of us, Mother’s Day will not feel this way. Mother’s Day, instead, may feel really quite hard and complex.
Perhaps you dearly long to be a mother and you’re currently struggling with infertility. Perhaps you wanted to be a mother to physical children in this lifetime and it couldn’t or didn’t happen. Perhaps you recently or long ago lost your physical child and are grieving your loss deeply. Perhaps you never wanted to be a mother and/or are now struggling with being one. Perhaps your mother is dead or very ill. Perhaps you never knew your mother and wish you had. Or, and this is very common, perhaps you are estranged from your mother or have a toxic and painful relationship with her that makes celebrating this day complex in a way that no Hallmark card could ever capture.
Whatever the reason, if you’re one of the many of us who doesn’t enjoy this day, who almost dread its cyclical return in the arc of the calendar each year—if you’re someone who actually feels sadness, challenge and pain around this day, I want you to know you’re not alone. Not at all. Being triggered by Mother’s Day is an incredibly common experience.