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What Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Method is Best for You?

Updated: Apr 15

woman with dark hair hugging green pillow and smiling

Where to Find the Best Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Method for You

Written by Narcissistic Abuse Expert and Coach, Randi Fine

Narcissistic Abuse Awareness and Guidance with Randi Fine

When I started doing my work with narcissistic abuse recovery over a decade ago there were maybe 10 people worldwide who were also doing it. Very few licensed therapists were offering this kind of help, simply because they received no formal education or training in it. Talk therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy alone are entirely ineffective with this syndrome. Professionals who apply it bring more shame and blame to those seek their counsel then they do validation and healing. There remains little to no education provided in their formal training, yet there are pages and pages of licensed therapists on LinkedIn claiming to specialize in this area.

Helping people who have suffered this kind of horrid abuse, who are suffering from a multitude of emotional and psychological issues in addition to complex PTSD, requires a very specific approach and many years of experience. Knowing what the traits of narcissism are and talking about the despicable behavior of those who demonstrate it, are not enough to treat vulnerable people whose minds have been seriously altered this way. And because everything about narcissistic abuse is convoluted and illogical, it cannot be understood without personally experiencing it.

Narcissism has become a buzzword that everyone is now using. Social media is inundated with memes and people claiming to be narcissistic abuse coaches. Some claim to be certified in it. Until recently there was no such thing. Now there are several people offering certification courses in it. They are springing up like weeds. I must call the validity of some of them into question.

There are innumerable support groups and online forums. Those who follow them do not recover. They are simply outlets for griping. Reliance on them breeds animosity and bitterness, not healing. They are great for people who are unsure of what they are dealing with. Once the problem is identified, narcissistic abuse support groups are simply avenues of enabling. I've been asked several times throughout the years to conduct support groups. I refuse to do them because they perpetuate suffering.

Support for narcissistic abuse is only one aspect of recovery. Narcissists condition victims to believe that they are only as valuable as they are told they are. This breeds reliance and a chronic need for external validation. Support groups and forums only enable the continuance of dependence and suffering. Recovery and the resilience that follows requires the building of inner skills such as fierce self love and internal self-validation. I certainly offer a great deal of support to my clients, but those who engage my services truly heal and move forward in their lives.

The Internet, YouTube, and TicTok are crawling with people, some lay people, some licensed professionals, some snake oil salespeople, talking about narcissism and offering advice. Many have millions of followers.

Don't blindly follow anyone. I caution you to scrutinize the information you find here. Some of the major players, licensed and unlicensed, are only in it for the ego boost, fame and income it brings. I have had clients who have been seriously injured by the advice they've received or the courses they have taken from very popular narcissistic abuse YouTubers. Some are narcissistic themselves. It takes a trained eye to recognize them. I recognize them. Most people, even some professionals who claim to be narcissistic abuse experts, do not.

If someone claims to be a narcissist, and there are a few of them on YouTube with millions of followers, learn from them but do not follow their advice. They are narcissists first, who get excessive amounts of attention and recognition, from admitting they are narcissists. They are not there to help anyone. Don't fall for the ruse.

Don't trust anyone who claims to be a professional in this field without doing your homework. Don't pay large sums of money to people for courses that will not help you. Courses are fine for learning, but you will not heal from taking them.

I publish extensive amounts of information on this topic through my books, articles, podcasts, and videos. And I will be the first to tell you that these resources will educate you, which is very important, but they will not heal you. If you have suffered narcissistic abuse, your mind has been severely altered. Without specific and proper one-on-one counsel and treatment, the narcissist will remain in your head every day for the rest of your life. Every thought, decision, and choice you make will be heavily influenced by it. That is the way brainwashing works. It does not dissipate with time.

As one who has experienced the devastation that narcissistic abuse causes, as well as one who has completely healed and resolved it, I can tell you that the journey to healing is not an easy one but it is one that is entirely worthwhile. True healing will propel your life forward in amazing ways.

One of the first things I tell my clients is that I will not ask them to do any more hard work- that they have done enough work through the years; work that has not provided them the relief they seek. The effects of narcissistic abuse are exhausting, depressing, and anxiety producing. I want my clients to ease into healing. I offer the path of least resistance. I ask them to trust me to steer the ship; to allow me to take them in the direction of true healing. My method is supportive, comforting, rapid, and effective.

If you are suffering, please do not hesitate to reach out. The day you do will be the first day of the rest of your beautiful life.

Randi Fine is an internationally renowned narcissistic abuse expert and coach, and the author of the groundbreaking book Close Encounters of the Worst Kind: The Narcissistic Abuse Survivor’s Guide to Healing and Recovery Second Edition, the most comprehensive, most well researched, and most up-to-date book on this subject. In addition to helping survivors recognize their abuse and heal from it, this book teaches mental health professionals how to recognize and properly treat the associated abuse syndrome. She is also the author of the official companion workbook Close Encounters of the Worst Kind: A Comprehensive Workbook for Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse. Randi Fine is the author of Cliffedge Road: A Memoir, the first and only book to characterize the life-long progression of complications caused by narcissistic child abuse.

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