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How to Divorce a Narcissist: Strategies and Tips

Updated: Nov 8, 2022


Are You Married to a Narcissist and Thinking About Divorce?

Written by Narcissistic Abuse Expert Randi Fine

Narcissistic Abuse Awareness and Guidance with Randi Fine

Are you married to a narcissist and thinking about divorce? Following are eleven steps to take for the best possible outcome, and eight important tips to keep in mind.

Steps to take

  1. Tempting as it may be, do not discuss/threaten separation or divorce with your narcissistic spouse. The threat of losing you will not make her regret the way she's treated you and change it. Abuse, manipulation and control are her nature. Remember, narcissists are always ten steps ahead of you. In the blink of an eye they can plot out a strategy for days, weeks, months or even years ahead. Never give them that advantage. If you have already discussed/threatened divorce, don't be concerned. You can easily throw her off the scent and feed her need for narcissistic supply by saying, "I don't know what I was thinking when I said that. I love you, am fully committed to this marriage, and never plan to leave you." And then never bring it up again. If she tries to back you into a corner and pressures you to talk about it, deny, deny, deny. Just keep saying, "I love you, am fully committed to this marriage, and never plan to leave you." That said, if you are in a physically dangerous situation you must get out immediately and then hide out in a place where she can't find you.

  2. Once you come to terms with the reality of the situation you are in and the fact that it will never get better, begin planning your strategy for leaving. The outcome will be much better if you strategize rather then just walking out the door in exasperation. It is not easy to stay and pretend that nothing is wrong when you are at the end of your rope, but for the sake of surv