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Confronting Your Narcissistic Abuser

Updated: Oct 30, 2022

woman in gray suit holding note saying terms and conditions represents confronting your narcissistic abuser

Confronting Your Narcissistic Abuser

Ten Things You Should Know

Written by Randi Fine, Narcissistic Abuse Expert

Narcissistic Abuse Awareness and Guidance with Randi Fine

Are you an abuse survivor who cannot let your resentments go without first confronting your narcissistic abuser? If that is something you feel compelled to do, it is important that you wait until you are emotionally ready and stable enough to withstand the challenge. If you are not, confronting your abuser can be very traumatic for you and you will not get the relief you hoped for.

If and when you decide you are ready to confront your abuser, be sure to have at least one person available to give you the support you need before, during, and afterwards. The best support will come from a therapist or counselor who fully understands how difficult confronting your narcissistic abuser can be. You have every right to speak your truth. When you do, be mindful to stay focused on your agenda and in control of the encounter. This is your moment—it may even be the first encounter you have ever had with your abuser that you were in control. Do not allow him or her to bully you. Do not buy into denial, excuses, or pity parties.

Direct confrontation is done in person, electronically, or over the telephone. To be most effective there are some important things to consider:

  1. Keep emotion out of the confrontation. If you are not sure you can confront your abuser without becoming emotional, wait until you can.

  2. The confrontation should be digni