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Twenty Signs Your Abuser is a Narcissist

Question Mark Over Silouette Twenty Questions Abuser is Narcissist

Twenty Signs Your Abuser is a Narcissist

Written by Randi Fine, Narcissistic Abuse Expert

Narcissistic Abuse Awareness and Guidance with Randi Fine

Do you suspect that your abuser is a narcissist? Here are twenty of the most common behaviors you may be experiencing:

  1. Does he rage when his opinion, point of view, or idea is challenged, even slightly?

  2. Is she emotionally abusive most of the time, but occasionally demonstrates acts of kindness?

  3. Does he criticize your opinions, choices, appearance, and just about everything that defines you as an individual?

  4. Does she treat you more like an object than a person?

  5. Have you caught him in obvious lies or half-truths and confronted him about them, only to have him explain them away every single time?

  6. Is she abusive to you behind closed doors and perfectly charming when with others?

  7. Does he make you feel insecure, unattractive, stupid, and/or worthless?

  8. Does she tell you she loves you, but her actions and behavior show otherwise?

  9. Do you feel manipulated, coerced, and/or controlled by him?

  10. Does your abuser suck you back in every time you threaten to or try to leave the relationship?

  11. Does she make promises to you that she never keeps?

  12. Does he exhibit strange behaviors that cannot be explained?

  13. Is she nicer to you when you pull back your emotions from her?

  14. Does he accuse you of living in the past and/or being unable to let things go?

  15. Do you feel as if you give 100% of yourself to the relationship and she gives none?

  16. Does he provoke you or goad you into arguments that cause you to react strongly, and then accuse you of being the crazy, dramatic, unreasonable one?

  17. Does she exploit your vulnerabilities, sensitivities, inadequacies, disabilities, and/or weaknesses?

  18. Does he try to convince you that what you heard you didn’t hear, what you saw you didn’t see, what you witnessed happening didn’t happen?

  19. Does she blame you for all the problems in the relationship?

  20. Does he never offer a true apology for anything he has done to hurt or upset you?

Randi Fine is an internationally renowned narcissistic abuse expert and coach. She is the author of the groundbreaking book Close Encounters of the Worst Kind: The Narcissistic Abuse Survivor’s Guide to Healing and Recovery Second Edition, the most comprehensive, most well researched, and most up-to-date book on this subject. In addition to helping survivors recognize their abuse and heal from it, this book teaches mental health professionals how to recognize and properly treat the associated abuse syndrome. She is also the author of Cliffedge Road: A Memoir, the first and only book to characterize the life-long progression of complications caused by narcissistic child abuse.


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