Relationship Conflict Management
The Art of Fair Fighting Part Two
Written by Randi Fine, Narcissistic Abuse Expert
Narcissistic Abuse Awareness and Guidance with Randi Fine
With healthy relationship conflict management, each party has the right to express his or her feelings in a constructive, respectful way and be heard in the same manner. That requires each person stay calm and maintain a fair level of control. The tension level of an argument can be kept at a minimum by speaking with calm voices.
If one person raises his voice in anger, the other party will automatically feel attacked. What is being said does not matter. Once one party takes a threatening tone, the other party is put on the defensive. Under these circumstances an argument cannot help but escalate.
Are you a passionate person who has a tendency to speak loudly when you are upset? If you are, make a conscious effort to tone your voice down. You may not think you are yelling but the interpretation of your tone is subjective. If your partner feels threatened, whether or not you believe you are yelling, then be respectful and lower it. If you cannot restrain yourself it is best to walk away and cool off until you can. Let your partner know why you feel the need to do that.
Arguing brings out emotion but emotion should never rule a fair-fought argument. Loss of control and over dramatization will not bring a means to the end. To avoid that, always go into an argument knowing exactly what is bothering you and what end goal you are trying to achieve. If you are not in touch with what you want, no solution will be acceptable.