Attachment Style Quiz: Discover How You Love and Connect
- loveyourlife6
- Nov 1
- 4 min read
Updated: 7 days ago
Attachment Style Quiz
Discover How You Love and Connect
By Randi Fine, Narcissistic Abuse Expert & Recovery Coach
Published on Narcissistic Abuse Awareness and Guidance with Randi Fine
💞 What Is an Attachment Style Quiz and Why It Matters
Your attachment style quiz can reveal the emotional blueprint behind how you love, connect, and respond in relationships. Whether you crave closeness, avoid intimacy, or balance both with ease, your attachment style in relationships is shaped by early childhood experiences.
Understanding it is a powerful step toward self-awareness and emotional healing — especially if you’ve ever wondered “Why do I attract the same type of partner?” or “Why do I react so strongly to love and rejection?”
This quiz helps you identify your attachment pattern and gives you actionable steps to create more secure, fulfilling connections.
🧭 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
This quick quiz takes about 3 minutes. For each question, choose the answer that feels most like you in romantic relationships.
1. When my partner needs space, I usually…
A) Feel calm and trust the connection will remain strong.
B) Worry they’re pulling away and wonder what I did wrong.
C) Feel relieved and enjoy the independence.
D) Want closeness but also feel uncomfortable — I can’t decide.
2. When I feel hurt in a relationship, I tend to…
A) Communicate directly and work toward resolution.
B) Overthink and crave reassurance
.C) Shut down or distract myself.
D) Withdraw and return when I miss the person again.
3. How do you feel about emotional intimacy?
A) Comfortable — I can be open and vulnerable.
B) I crave it deeply but fear rejection.
C) I prefer to keep things light.
D) I want it, but it scares me once it happens.
4. When someone gets too close emotionally, I…
A) Welcome it — I enjoy genuine closeness.
B) Feel both excited and anxious.
C) Pull away or feel trapped.
D) Panic internally and often sabotage it.
5. When my partner doesn’t respond right away, I…
A) Assume they’re busy — no big deal.
B) Feel anxious and start worrying.
C) Feel indifferent; I like my space.
D) Feel upset but try to act like I don’t care.
6. How do you handle conflict?
A) Stay calm and communicate honestly.
B) Get emotional and fear abandonment.
C) Avoid confrontation altogether.
D) Alternate between arguing and withdrawing.
7. What best describes your ideal relationship?
A) Supportive, stable, and emotionally open.
B) Passionate and close — I want deep connection.
C) Independent and low-maintenance.
D) Intense but unpredictable.
8. When things go wrong in love, I tend to blame…
A) Both of us — I try to learn and grow.
B) Myself — I feel like I’m not enough.
C) My partner — they expect too much.
D) The situation — it’s complicated.
9. When I think about commitment, I feel…
A) Ready — I value deep connection.
B) Hopeful but anxious.
C) Hesitant — I fear losing my freedom.
D) Torn — I want love but don’t trust it.
10. After an argument, I usually feel…
A) Relieved once we’ve talked it through.
B) Drained and worried about being left.
C) Detached — I need time alone.
D) Confused — I want closeness but fear rejection.
🧩 Results
🩵 Mostly A’s — Secure Attachment
You’re comfortable with intimacy and independence. You communicate clearly, trust easily, and resolve conflict constructively.
What to do next: Continue nurturing these patterns and model secure love for others.
❤️ Mostly B’s — Anxious Attachment
You love deeply but often worry about being abandoned. You seek reassurance and may become preoccupied with your partner’s feelings.
What to do next: Build self-trust through self-soothing and mindful communication. You are enough.
💛 Mostly C’s — Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment
You value independence and avoid vulnerability. Emotional closeness can feel threatening.
What to do next: Practice expressing emotions in small ways. Openness invites deeper connection.
💜 Mostly D’s — Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized) Attachment
You crave love but fear it too, leading to hot-and-cold behavior.
What to do next: Focus on nervous system regulation, setting boundaries, and seeking trauma-informed support.
🌱 Your Attachment Style Isn’t Fixed — It Can Heal
Understanding your attachment style quiz results is only the beginning. Healing your attachment wounds takes awareness, consistency, and compassion. You can move toward secure attachment through therapy, coaching, and emotionally safe relationships.
Remember — your attachment style doesn’t define your worth. It’s simply a reflection of how you learned to stay safe in love.
🌟 Ready to Begin Your Healing Journey?
Take what you’ve learned today and use it as your foundation for growth and self-discovery.
Randi Fine is an internationally renowned narcissistic abuse expert and recovery coach, and the originator of the term Post-Narcissistic Reality Hangover - a phrase she coined to describe the disorienting psychological aftermath survivors experience after leaving a narcissist. She is the author of the best-selling, groundbreaking book Close Encounters of the Worst Kind: The Narcissistic Abuse Survivor’s Guide to Healing and Recovery Second Edition - the most comprehensive, well-researched, and up-to-date book on this subject. In addition to helping survivors recognize and heal from abuse, this book also guides mental health professionals in identifying and properly treating narcissistic abuse syndrome. Randi is the author of the official companion workbook Close Encounters of the Worst Kind: A Comprehensive Workbook for Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse, and the powerful memoir Cliffedge Road: A Memoir, the first and only book to illustrate the life-long impact of narcissistic child abuse.
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