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How to Be Your Authentic Self

Updated: Oct 21, 2022

I Simply Am word art on black background affirms the authentic self.

Staying True to Your Authentic Self

Written by Randi Fine, Narcissistic Abuse Expert

Narcissistic Abuse Awareness and Guidance with Randi Fine

Being your authentic self is difficult in a world that discourages individuality. Every day a barrage of forces tells us what to believe, what to think, how to look, and how to live our lives. We are bombarded with information coming from television, social networks, and the World Wide Web. The pressure is on to conform to political standards, religious standards, family standards, financial standards, and the standards of popular culture icons.

We are also subject to the unsolicited judgment of our friends, family, and peers particularly when our actions, choices, or decisions do not agree with theirs.

Judgment hits us hardest when we are vulnerable to its insinuations--when we have unresolved conflict or do not feel good about ourselves.

Our self-concept is comprised of the beliefs we have about our self-identity, self-worth, and self-image. It is shaped by the people in our life, our life experiences, and the impressions we personally attach to those experiences. Our self-concept is what shapes our perceptions and the way we experience life.

Our self-concept defines our personal truth; who we believe we are in relation to the people and world around us.

Developing an authentic self involves staying true to our vision and our values; living life on our terms no matter what external pressure is being put on us or who is judging us. It means loving, respecting, trusting, and honoring ourselves whether others do or not. It means taking responsibility for the life we live and having faith in our choices.

Your truth will always be different than the truths of others. Your needs will always be different than the needs of others. The journey into discovering your personal truths is one you must take if you truly want to know yourself—if you do not want to live your life according to the opinions and judgments of others—if you do not want to live your life by default. You do not have to defend or explain yourself, nor do you have to make others agree with you. There are many paths to take in life. Everyone chooses their own.

Make a commitment to expand your way of thinking. Challenge your current beliefs to become aware of any needed changes. Strive to become more than you ever thought you could be. Start on a path of personal growth, a journey to self discovery. Then move toward your goals one day at a time. You are worth the effort! Reaffirm that belief often.

You are here for a reason. Embrace your beautiful, awesome, authentic self. Value the qualities or quirks that make you who you are; they are part of a bigger picture. You are an integral piece of the universal puzzle. Every puzzle piece is different, yet they all fit together. All that is required is that you be authentically you.

Randi Fine is an internationally renowned narcissistic abuse expert and coach. She is the author of the groundbreaking book Close Encounters of the Worst Kind: The Narcissistic Abuse Survivor’s Guide to Healing and Recovery, the most comprehensive, most well researched, and most up-to-date book on this subject. In addition to helping survivors recognize their abuse and heal from it, this book teaches mental health professionals how to recognize and properly treat the associated abuse syndrome. She is also the author of Cliffedge Road: A Memoir, the first and only book to characterize the life-long progression of complications caused by narcissistic child abuse.


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