Randi Fine's Blog

Why survivors go back to narcissists can feel confusing and shameful, even to the survivor. This pattern is not about weakness, but about trauma bonding, cognitive dissonance, and nervous system conditioning. Understanding why this happens helps reduce self-blame and supports the process of breaking free from the cycle of narcissistic abuse.

A trauma bond after narcissistic abuse can leave survivors feeling confused about why they still miss the person who hurt them. This powerful attachment is created through cycles of emotional reward and harm that condition the nervous system over time. Understanding how trauma bonds form can help survivors release shame, regain clarity, and begin rebuilding internal safety after narcissistic abuse.