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Grieving the Death of the Living: Coming to Terms With a Break Up or Divorce

Updated: Oct 23, 2022

Grieving the Death of the Living

Mourning an Abuser Who is Still Alive

Written by Randi Fine, Narcissistic Abuse Expert

Narcissistic Abuse Awareness and Guidance with Randi Fine

There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go. ~Author Unknown

It would seem that letting go of a relationship with someone who used, abused and objectified you, whether parent, friend, sibling, partner or spouse, would be a huge relief—a monumental weight off your shoulders. From a logical standpoint, freedom from years of control and oppression should feel good—and it may for a short period of time.

Whether your abuser leaves you or you leave your abuser, whether you choose measured contact or no contact at all, there will come a time when the relief you initially feel disappears and is replaced by a range of disturbing emotions.

Ending a relationship with someone with whom you were emotionally invested is always painful. But realizing that the relationship you thought you had never existed and that you meant nothing at all to the person you trusted and loved is