Effects of Childhood Narcissistic Trauma Last a Lifetime
Written by Narcissistic Abuse Expert and Coach, SSP Certified Practitioner, and Best-selling Author, Randi Fine
Narcissistic Abuse Awareness and Guidance with Randi Fine
If you are experiencing the seemingly never-ending effects of childhood narcissistic abuse, you are not alone. This kind of abuse sets children up for a lifetime of and a plethora of frustrating issues in adulthood.
The most obvious issues experienced by adult children of narcissistic abuse (ACON's) are emotional disorientation, cognitive thinking distortions, self-destructive behaviors, difficulty forming healthy relationships, difficulty with family issues, feelings of invisibility and insignificance, and a variety of mental disorders. When addressed by mental health specialists in narcissistic abuse, these symptoms can be alleviated. They are very treatable.
The next level of symptoms, such as post traumatic (and complex post traumatic) stress disorder, anxiety disorders, panic disorders, and social engagement disorders, are rooted in dysfunctional autonomic nervous systems that were poorly influenced in childhood and became worse over time. These conditions can be managed with medication, meditation, breathing techniques, yoga, EMDR, various trauma release therapies, and the Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP).
At the deepest level lies somatic issues; multiple, persistent physical complaints that may be undetectable through blood work, scans, and physical examination, often labeled by the medical community as psychosomatic. These symptoms may be experienced as chronic fatigue, physical pain, autoimmune disorders and allergies, mast cell activation syndrome, digestive issues and disorders, food sensitivities, headaches, dizziness, dermatological symptoms, respiratory symptoms, cardiovascular symptoms, naso-ocular symptoms, brain fog, and many others. These may plague ACON's for a lifetime and send them on wild goose chases in search of relief and remedies.
What makes childhood trauma related somatic symptoms so difficult is that one symptom may lead to another, compounding the problem and eventually becoming too interwoven to identify. Or the issues may surface sporadically or at different times causing a Whack-a-mole effect. In any case the person's quality of life suffers.
While the medical community may scratch their heads when presented with these issues, there are holistic practitioners, functional medicine doctors, acupuncturists, massage therapists, and energy workers/healers who can help ease symptoms. While they may be managed, they are rarely resolved. This is very frustrating and exhausting for ACON's to deal with. The lack of resiliency caused by these disorders, and the unpredictability of them can affect ACON's ability to work and support themselves, affect their ability to parent, make exercising very difficult to do, prevent them from traveling, cause sleep disorders, cause mood disorders, and may negatively effect their relationships with others. These symptoms can also be very isolating.
If you are an adult child of narcissistic abuse, it's important to understand the depth and breadth of damage that was done to you in childhood. You are not weird or crazy for feeling the way you do. You are truly experiencing the residual effects of deep-seated, long-term trauma. There may be days when you function well and days when you can barely function at all. All you can do is ride the wave and accept it, with the understanding that tomorrow may be better. Do not get frustrated with yourself or angry at the condition. That kind of resistance will make you feel worse and prolong your suffering.
Be kind and loving to yourself. Give yourself hugs. Say positive things to yourself. Rest when you need to rest. Don't push yourself past your limits. Don't resent your body. Honor it for all the wonderful things it does for you. Stay focused on gratitude--you undoubtedly have so much to be grateful for.
If you need emotional support, please reach out. I know this professionally, but even more impactful is that I, an ACON myself, have experienced all the symptoms and have been on a five decade quest to feel better. I am always available to compassionately help you navigate your way through this.
Randi Fine is an internationally renowned narcissistic abuse expert and coach, and the author of the groundbreaking book Close Encounters of the Worst Kind: The Narcissistic Abuse Survivor’s Guide to Healing and Recovery Second Edition, the most comprehensive, most well researched, and most up-to-date book on this subject. In addition to helping survivors recognize their abuse and heal from it, this book teaches mental health professionals how to recognize and properly treat the associated abuse syndrome. She is also the author of the official companion workbook Close Encounters of the Worst Kind: A Comprehensive Workbook for Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse. Randi Fine is the author of Cliffedge Road: A Memoir, the first and only book to characterize the life-long progression of complications caused by narcissistic child abuse.