Self Love on Valentine's Day
Written by Bob Rickert at Sondermind.com
Narcissistic Abuse Support and Guidance with Randi Fine
It’s that time of year again. The red heart boxes are littering the grocery store aisles, roses and glitter-filled cards are everywhere you look, and forget trying to eat at a restaurant this weekend (even takeout). It's enough to make your heart sink, not sing. Everyone else is so in love. Or at least that’s how it can feel. Rest assured, you’re not alone if you’re feeling like you can’t wait for this day to pass.
Why do we celebrate Valentine’s Day? Many believe the holiday originated with the Roman ritual of Lupercalia, where spring was welcomed in the same tradition as Victorian England. Over the years it's brought both Christian and Roman traditions together and gets its name from Saint Valentine. We’ve celebrated our true loves in the United States for centuries on February 14. It’s seen as a chance to share your love with those closest to you.
Changing the tune Chocolates, flowers, and other gifts have made an industry behind the holiday. Of course, with all of those traditions, expectations can be very unrealistic. Often those who are in a committed relationship aren’t immune to the stress and anticipation of a celebration that can always fray from expectations.
Sometimes it’s a song, a place, even a simple picture or image that can remind us of a person who’s no longer here or a time we were in a committed relationship. And when it happens, remember this is something everyone goes through at one point in time. Even those who are dating, married, or committed to others often can’t be with their special someone on Valentine’s Day. So, why not make this day about you?
Celebrate Yourself on Valentine’s Day Whether you’re in a relationship or not, take the opportunity to practice a little self-love on Valentine’s Day and start a new tradition. Spend the day celebrating yourself and all of the things you love. And if you’re with a partner, that includes them too! Re-framing how we celebrate is a great place to start. Here’s a few things to give a try:
• Take a break from social media. Yes, some of what people post is real, but some of it is manufactured and it's human nature to begin comparing ourselves to others’ seemingly perfect lives. Pause the scrolling and focus on you. • Cultivate your own social support network. Use this day as a time to reach out to good friends and family, or reconnect with those you’ve lost touch with. • Spend time with family and friends, or the people you enjoy most. Ask yourself who makes you feel good when you’re around them and spend your energy and time with them. • Make a point to do a few things just for yourself. Whatever you love to do, that’s what you can do on Valentine’s Day. A hot bath, your favorite meal, retail therapy, or even just taking a much needed break from the weekly routine–whatever you enjoy most is what you should spend your time on. After all, it’s your day. • Buy yourself a gift or treat. It doesn’t have to be big or expensive. Caring for yourself is also about rewarding yourself for being who you are. Keep it simple and do something for yourself to celebrate. • Find a cause or a charity and volunteer. Being around others and focused on something bigger than ourselves is a terrific way to make the most of any free time you have. Making a difference for others in need goes a long way to giving the day new purpose and importance. • Go for a long walk or exercise. We all know exercise releases feel-good endorphins and improves our mood. Here’s your reminder. Get a bit of exercise or even just go outside. Being in nature can have a calming and uplifting effect.
Between work, school, family, and various other responsibilities, we can all have a hard time prioritizing ourselves, finding time for ourselves, or just making the most of alone time. This Valentine’s Day, spend time thinking about and doing what makes you happy.